The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
