i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
