You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
