i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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