Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
