I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
