just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
