I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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