She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I want to fling myself into the sun
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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