JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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