i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
