To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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