meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I know her cup size but not her name....
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