Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
