i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
