the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
