you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
