I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
