What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
