Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
