...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i barfeds in our rink
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
