farters have to be the big spoon...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
