you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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