everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
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And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
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Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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