He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
two words...techno handjob
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
