I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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