Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
