Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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