This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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