I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i need some magic done to my vagina
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
