Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
