people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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