Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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