dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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