I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
