I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
