dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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