Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
