Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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