We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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