My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize