if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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