i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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