I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize