kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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