Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
