But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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