Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
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We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
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You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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