Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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