Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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