Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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