A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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