The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
