Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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