3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
