considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
