just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
