I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
