I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
