Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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