Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
