You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I touched a dick in church today
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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