dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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