I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
